10 things men want from us, besides sex

It's not just physical intimacy and action in bed that men desire from women. There is tonnes more they wish from us that may not be on top of a woman's mind. Smita Singh helps you peek into a man's mind and heart...

1) The Incredible lightness of being
With men, hands down this is going to top the list - a woman who lessens their chances of a heart attack, panic attack, nerve attack- you get the picture. Basically someone who is easy to be with, can take a joke and unwind with them, funny, light on the senses and bright.

2) Honest to Goodness
If you thought fidelity and loyalty are not concerns that bother men too much, be informed that Mars isn’t that mysterious a place. Integrity and honesty are as valuable to men as to us. Anyway, your basic honesty in dealing with men will more often than not get you through the toughest of times. And if you are contending to be with him for a lifetime, your ability to stay true to yourself as well as to him counts big time.

3) Emotional Independence
Well you may have heard about the victim who cried buckets and got her gentle lover to not only rescue but commit to her forever, but there’s a good chance it happened in a bad movie adaptation of an equally bad book because wet blankets tend to weigh down most men. Not that temperaments, mood swings and real issues can’t be adjusted to, but over emotional, clingy and needy need not apply just yet.

4) Lack of too much Mystery
Over mystifying the feminine mystique is a little out dated ladies. Women who are straight-forward and easy to get through are the most desired ones- notice the operative word ‘easy’ please. Don’t unnecessarily complicate the ‘simple stuff’ as men probably do realise when we play too hard to get.

5) The Anti-Nag
So he got the message - you left it in the voice mail, the e- mail, the social site inbox, on the fridge and that post- it on his forehead. You are not the one. Perhaps to quantify this one there’s just one phrase- The Anti - Nag. Those species of women who don’t drive the point home so hard so as to bury the message. So watch it all you naggers out there!

6) The Butterfly Effect
It’s not just women who want fireworks, men too seem to care about how the women they are with make them feel, out of bed especially. Sustaining the passion that got you together is equally important to men and springing good surprises once in a while is never out of fashion with most of them.

7) Strength of Confidence
We do want our partners to be able to take care when we fall apart, to take charge when we falter, just as we do for them. But to make it a habit of faltering, falling and leaving the mess for him to clear can prove very expensive. Your strength and confidence in your abilities are merits for you and him both, so cherish them and carry them with you always.

8) Love Express
So this one may be down in the list but don’t believe for a second your love doesn’t need to know you care. Take time to express your love every once in a while- it’s never wasted!

9) Your ability to take a Chance on him
Yes its true- your support counts and whether you like his ideas or not, he’s going ahead with it and if not he’ll probably resent you for a long time- so support for hare-brained ideas is a must for many. Congratulations if you are with a genius and good luck if you are with… well the other guy.

10) Generosity
Perhaps not too much with his money, but surely generosity of being, to forgive and forget, to have an open heart, and generosity with love matters. You can’t ever go wrong with this one and if you do, it will still help you become more magnificent than you already are.

3 exotic detox therapies for you

You sip on that delicately brewed cup of green tea and indulge in Yoga, Meditation, Reiki and Acupuncture, but that's not all there is to healing naturally. Juhi Dua gets you the latest on 3 new and unique ways to detox. Hit the 'retune' button now!

1. Charcoal Purifying Routine
Activated Charcoal has been used for centuries as a vital ingredient of healing arts. Doctors still use it today as an antidote for poisons, indigestion and for even soaking up bad breath, because of its amazing ability to absorb. Now you can utilise the benefits of charcoal through easy to use products, thanks to the Danish line, ‘Sort of Coal’ that presents healthy and environment friendly ways to cleanse your life, incorporating the natural purifying properties of porous white coal.

You must: Check out www.sortofcoal.com to choose from their unique products such as White Charcoal Sticks made from Japanese bamboo, that when used to stir your beverages, absorbs impurities in alcohol or tea for a pure taste (3 sticks for €16.00); Edible White Charcoal (a box including 15 packets of natural white charcoal of 4 grams for €14.00); Water Purifiers (€16.00 onwards); Air Purifiers (€52.00) and a variety of soaps that have antiseptic and balancing properties beneficial for your skin (€16.00 onwards). Activated Charcoal Tablets can be ordered online from companies in our country as well.

2. Colon Hydrotherapy
Colon Hydrotherapy or Colonic Irrigation cleans the system by running water through the colon (the organ that holds maximum toxic waste), removing stubborn and toxic faecal build up.
Celebrity health guru and detox expert Dr. Nish Joshi who runs The Joshi Clinic in London and has the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow as his loyal patrons, explains how colon hydrotherapy works. He says, “Very often the foods we eat everyday contain inadequate nutrients and toxic substances, especially refined pre-processed foods with preservatives, artificial colours and artificial flavours. In addition, we intentionally ingest other toxic substances, such as alcohol, nicotine and stimulants, such as caffeine and other drugs. After these foods are digested, our liver must work overtime to detoxify all these foreign toxic substances so that they can be excreted through our kidneys and skin. Our intestinal tract is like a plumbing system in a house, with the small intestines comparable to sewage pipes and the colon comparable to a septic tank. When fat and debris are poured down the drain every day, the pipes will become clogged. Septic tanks need to be pumped out occasionally. Otherwise, too much waste will accumulate and back up into the house.”

This may come as a shock to you that the average colon may contain between 1-7kgs of debris, obviously collected over the years. With colonic irrigation, a large percentage of this waste can be flushed out. “The benefits of colon hydrotherapy can often be quickly observed in the form of healthy colon function, improved bowel function together with clearer skin, more mental clarity and fewer headaches,” elaborates Dr. Joshi.

“It can also assist in recovery from food poisoning and diarrhoea and improve the absorption of minerals and vitamins,” adds Neesha Maria Bukht, Dietician and Branch Manager with Talwalkars Bandra, Mumabi.

Both Dr. Joshi and Neesha recommend diet and lifestyle changes along with colon hydrotherapy for additional weight loss benefit and for help in tackling circulatory, immune and inflammatory problems.

You must: Not go for too many sessions in quick succession. “One session of about 45 minutes in 3-6 months is ideal for removing the toxic build-up,” warns Neesha. She also suggests adding probiotics to your diet post colonic irrigation for regenerating intestinal flora.

3. Liquid Vegetable Fast
With all that sugar that makes way into your body with a fruit juice diet, they are becoming passé and are fast being replaced by the more nutritious organic-vegetable juice diet. A secret hot-routine amongst many celebs, the liquid veggie diet is aimed at re-alkalinizing the body, facilitating healing by allowing increased elimination of toxins while the body is relieved of its task of metabolizing solid food.

“Another benefit of this diet comes in the form of antioxidants that offer a natural combatant to the toxins released by cell metabolism. These can help you build immunity and fight diseases, eradicating the need for taking supplements for the influx of antioxidants,” says Dr. Dheeraj Mulchandani, Consultant General Surgeon and Director of Dr. Mulchandani’s Medical Services.

You must: Limit your fast to 3 days in a go and keep your schedule relaxed as cutting out all indulgences and supplements may make you tired or restless.

It is strongly recommended that you indulge in these therapies under the guidance of experts. After all, you don’t want any doubts lingering in your head to play spoil sport while you enjoy the detox process, isn’t it?

Style your Holi

Wanna go beyond the predictable Ice Maiden look or 'care-two-hoots-and-wear-something-worn-out' dictum this Holi? P S Bhavana suggests five OMG-inducing fashion theories that could change your mad, colour-filled festival's party dynamics

Theory 1: Make black your new white.
Reasons: An all-black ensemble can counter any unsightly see-through concerns. And besides looking sexy, slimming and modish, it can also work as a mysterious palette to flaunt the mish-mash of colours.
Tips: Wear something sleeveless and snug (say a mid-length kurta, short tunic or a shirt-dress). If it’s loose, cinch it at the wait if you must.
Offset with: A cool pair of colourful flip-flops and a bunch of solid-coloured beads or bangles. Or a silver belt with charms or trinkets.

Theory 2: Get going with light denims
Reasons: This timeless fabric is ‘brawny’ and worth being abused. Well, after the festival is over, you can always re-use this coloured silhouette-jeans, capris or knee-lengths-as a great style statement. Wear it with a white shirt. Alternatively, get denims dyed professionally (a tie-dye effect rocks!)
Tip: Use light-coloured denims. If your legs permit, nothing can look saucier than a pair of über-trendy, ripped shorts.
Offset with: A white or black ganji (vest) or a tent-like top; and a pair of flip-flops/colourful Osho slippers.

Theory 3: Go shapeless and layer up
Reasons: Nothing conceals better than this look. But it can look ultra-mod especially when both the trends-layered and amorphous-are blended in well. After all, the fads have stayed on longer than expected, haven’t they?
Tips: Try either the Indian layer-up-formless kurta with a vest (fold the sleeves up); or the shapeless halter-neck dress or sack-shirt-with-vest style. Psst: A wee bit of prudent skin show helps!
Offset with: Strappy slip-ons, Osho slippers or thongs. A pair of hip shoulder-dusters (longish ear pieces), or a stole or a scarf (if outdoors) can add interest.

Theory 4: Slip into a kimono or kaftan
Reasons: It’s very comfy-cool, very lounge and very street at the same time. If you can, let its neckline plunge or go off-kilter (modestly) to work your charm up.
Tips: How about donning a knee-length style? Remember here you can safely either go short or long depending on your body type.
Offset with: A wrist cuff (dark leather wouldn’t get couloured easily) and simple slip-ons. Or a string of black pearls or cluster of chains. An obi-style belt (it can work wonders).

Theory 5: Tee off in a sweeping white tee
Reasons: It’s a great number that’s safe, versatile and can look smashing hot. Wear it over a pair of black capris, plain denims, or snug or billowy track pants.
Tips: A solid white tee looks better than a printed one. Apart from a usual shape or a high-cut vest, you can go for a radical knitted form-with bat-wing or kimono sleeves, tunic-style, with cowls or even surface decoration like appliqué or crochet. Don’t forget to wear an inner or sports bra under this one!
Offset with: An embroidered belt. A random mix of hued beads or an armful of wooden bangles. Coloured or metallic Kolhapuri slip-ons.

The real ‘Rags to Riches’ stories!

On International Women's' Day, Asawari chats with three women who tell us their 'rags to riches' story and how their single-mindedness to chase their dreams and determination to achieve them, helped them arrive in life

“Keep faith and let your work promote itself”
Maushmi Dhawan did just this. No wonder the 35-year old, who successfully runs a salon and spa, ‘Beautiful Secrets’, has now carved a niche for herself in bridal makeup.

“I came from an affluent family until fate decided to turn tables and I lost everything. But instead of looking out for help I decided to bring some blush back in my life by doing something on my own. It just took a 175 sq. feet room, some basic infrastructure and most importantly sheer zest to start my small parlour. There was fear but parallel to it was belief.”

“I never compromised on hard work and never ever failed any commitments, thanks to my family’s undying support. I then moved to a 500 sq feet salon and now own a sprawling 5000 sq feet space extending our services to a spa as well. I ventured into personality grooming and my forte became bridal makeup. In fact, I’ve travelled all over the world to dress up high-profile Indian brides. My name is now synonymous to bridal makeup and I know I have completely earned it.”

“I just wanted to live my life with complete freedom”
Admits the pretty Lorraine More, the founder and owner of the world-famous ‘Japalouppe Equestrian Centre Private Limited’ at Talegaon.

“I always wanted economical independence and start my own business. To earn some capital for my venture I started modelling. But this did not go down too well with my conservative husband and his family, so we started living separately. But after 8 months he called me back to join him in his family business of stud farms and I agreed.”

“At first I contemplated whether to start a green house or an equestrian school, but then I chose the latter. Not only because I had experience working at my friend’s equestrian centre in Canada but also because I met a Dutch couple who had the expertise and the equipment for the initial start-up. We were doing really well but with the success, the couple started mishandling the funds. None of my horse-shoes were favouring me as with this started a series of unpleasant events like police cases, mental stress, monetary loss, wrong allegations and other litigations. I was completely shattered as I was left with nothing. But I didn’t give up! With the same passion and commitment, I rose like a phoenix from the ashes and today I am proud that I am riding high with success.”

“My riding school is touted to teach novices in the most friendly but yet professional way. It is also renowned for kids’ camps, corporate training programs, hosting of equestrian competitions, wedding and bachelor parties. Maddox, Brangelina’s son had his first horse riding lesson here. Media is covering us, people are recommending us and we are only galloping ahead!”

“If you want to get to something desperately, you will”
Says the 30 year old, Puja Madan, a social Media Consultant who independently manages the new and famous Sulmoz.

“After doing my MBA from a reputed organisation, I started working at different places but always felt that my creative potential was never tapped to the fullest. I felt that I should do something on my own where I can unleash my creativity.”

“So when social networking was at a nascent stage I had some ideas in my head that I wanted to explore. I knew my family would always support me but I also knew that this was something I needed to do from the ground up myself. So after downloading all my savings and uploading loads of perseverance and devotion I started what is now ‘Sulmoz’, a sought-after consulting agency that offers organisations innovative ways to create the necessary online presence. My efforts have been paid off as I now handle the best clients in the business.”

“A word of advice to all women out there, whatever you face, optimism will pull you out of it for sure! I know it helped me.”

Get art smart!

Looking at owning art that will lend your home that classic touch and work as smart investment as well? We tell you how to go about knowing and then buying your art - from scouring through various talents to budgets. Check out our recommendations! By Smita Singh

Art and You
If you have been keeping yourself away from indulging in art because you don’t fancy yourself as a connoisseur, it’s time to bring home your first treasure. No expert can tell you which piece of beauty will be a joy forever, it’s what you feel when you look at a painting that will help you make the right choice. Here, we take you through the amazing process of seeking and finding what you respond to the most.

Where to go?
There are several prestigious galleries in most major cities and also exhibitions in smaller ones - keep your sight on announcements for these, subscribe to art magazines, make contact with private curators and visit the many websites that list new artists, fresh styles and reviews. Some of the most prestigious galleries in the country are in Mumbai - the topmost being the Pandol Art Gallery where even an unknown artist is catapulted to a great future if featured. Chemould Art Gallery in Mumbai is worth a mention too. In Delhi you have the Delhi Art Gallery with a great website - http://www.delhiartgallery.com. Other impressive art galleries in Delhi are -Vadehra Art Gallery and Dhoomimal Gallery. Also in Delhi the Bose Pacia Art Gallery from New York partners with Nature Morte Art Gallery focusing on contemporary art in India. In fact Art Alive Gallery that has curated shows and catalogues has a great website that aids your choice - www.artalivegallery.com. You can also visit the online gallery http://www.indianartcollectors.com/ as well as http://www.affordindianart.com for a great display of a variety of work.

How to make the decision
Owning a fabulous painting is a joy in itself, but plenty of galleries and curators today suggest that it’s also an investment- a collection that will give you delight for many years and great returns on your investment when you are ready to pass it on. We are aware that a celebrated M F Hussain painting will cost you millions, but there are plenty of artists within reach whose imagination, craft and journey you can follow even though they may not be as recognised now. So start with exploring art at a gallery near you, follow exhibitions and auctions, meet artists and spend time learning what you like- the colours, the themes, the brush strokes before narrowing down on the artist. Once you know what you respond to, take time to seek information about the popularity, scope and potential of that artist’s work, as well as hot sales and styles to help you decide if this is a valuable investment for you.

Picture Perfect - Affordable Art
If you are just starting out, and want to collect pieces without spending too much in the beginning, you could start with buying bigger works of lesser known artists or on the other hand, you could go for the established artists but buy limited editions rather than unlimited since the price gets more competitive for the former. A good thing for beginners would be to go for artists who are backed by galleries and always demand for a document of authenticity while making the purchase. Here are the various brackets and artists whose work you can take a look at -

Rs. 10,000 to Rs. 50,000 - Mohan Malviya, Apurva Desai, Manish Modi, Mithu Sen, TM Aziz
Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 100,000 - Partha Shaw, Ravikumar Kashi, Viraj Naik, Nupur Kundu
Rs. 100,000 to Rs. 200,000 - Akhitam Narayanan, Harshvardhana, Shuvaprasanna, Vaikuntam, Sujata Bajaj, Veer Munshi
Rs. 200,000 onwards - Anjolie Ela Menon, Laxman Goud, Paritosh Sen, K G Subramanyam, Yusuf Arakkal, Lalu Prasad Shaw, Sakti Burman

If you are not looking for investment but would like to light up your space within a budget, you could go for signed prints of established artists like Anjolie Ela Menon, Laxma Goud, Vaikuntam, and Yusuf Arakkal that cost anywhere between 2,500 to 5000 Rupees.

Eat, sleep, get sexy

Experts believe that a lack of sleep can make you fat. We get nutritionists and fitness specialists to decode the connection and suggest foods that are believed to help you sleep better and hence keep your weight in control. By Supriya Kutty

“Sleep is a process during which the body performs routine maintenance and repairs the wear and tear borne during the day. It serves as a recharging mechanism for the body, “says Consulting Dietician Ashlesha Gupte. Lack of sleep can lead to mood swings, dark circles, sullen eyes and bad skin infused with open pores. So sleep is absolutely vital, this is understood, what’s next? Inevitably, it’s the right food - good sleep connection.

Slumber fare
The magic ingredient is tryptophan - an amino acid that helps the body produce more serotonin and melatonin, both essential sleep promoting hormones. Furthermore, calcium contributes to the benefit of eating tryptophan foods by producing melatonin, which helps regulate other hormones and maintains the body’s circadian rhythm - an internal 24-hour ‘clock’ that plays a critical role in when we fall asleep and when we wake up.

So stock up on the following tryptophan-rich foods and get a full night’s snooze to feel fit and fresh.

Go for grain
Whole grains increase the release of tryptophan to the brain. According to Vishal Dogra, Trainer and Mentor, Simplified Fitness Solutions, “Complex carbohydrates such as oats, whole wheat rotis, daliya and brown rice are perfect for dinner since they are absorbed slowly and provide nutrition throughout the night.” These are best eaten in the early evening, 2-3 hours before sleeping. Bajra, barley, and finger millet are also excellent sources of tryptophan.

Sanat Pundalik, a renowned fitness expert suggests, “All cereals except semolina and refined flour must be consumed throughout the day, until 6 p.m.”

Be lean with protein
“Protein intake is important but avoid high protein diet at night as they cause bloating and flatulence, resulting in disturbed sleep,” warns Ashlesha. So skip hard-to-digest legumes or heavy, spice-infused gravies, instead opt for something lighter. “Good protein options for vegetarians include pulses like Turkish gram (matki), masoor lentils, yellow moong and low fat cottage cheese while grilled chicken or fish are ideal for non-vegetarians,” recommends Sanat. Fish like tuna, salmon, trout and other oily fish contain a type of Omega-3 that aids slumber.

Fill of fruit
Fruits facilitate slumber therapy superbly. Sour cherries (fresh or dried) push up melatonin levels while apricots, bananas and dates boost serotonin release with healthy doses of magnesium. “Bananas also contain potassium, which conducts electricity in the body along with other minerals, to control smooth muscle contractions associated with the sleep disorders like restless leg syndrome (RLS)”, explains Ashlesha. Mangoes and papaya are also dense in tryptophan.

Reap benefits of nuts and seeds
Sesame seeds are perhaps the best natural source of tryptophan. While flax seeds, bursting with Omega 3 are great mood lifters that’ll help you relax. Almonds have both tryptophan and magnesium to steady heart rhythms and calm muscle movements.

Dairy dose
“Low fat milk is a good combination of carbohydrates and proteins and can be had at bed time with one or two dates”, recommends Vishal. Since, calcium helps the creation of melatonin.” But if you are lactose intolerable, soy milk works just as well”, elaborates Ashlesha. Yoghurt is also an excellent stress-reducing food.

Veggiewise
If you like potatoes, you’re lucky. Boiled or baked potato is not only delicious but clears the gastro-intestinal tract of acids that can interfere with yawn-inducing tryptophan. Colocasia and sweet potato as well as leafy greens like spinach, basil, lettuce and dill are also believed to encourage sleep. Red peppers and pumpkin too can be a part of your slumber diet.

Remember, light meals are better sleep inducers than heavy meals at nights. So draw out your dinner carefully and get set to wake up feeling fresh and rejuvenated each morning!

Start your caffeine affair!

A pick-me-up, an excuse to get together, an elixir of intellectuals, a beloved daily ritual...coffee is many things to many people. The brew has inspired imaginative concoctions and a happy union with alcohol. Supriya Kutty explores some exciting ways to celebrate this diabolical duo

Point to note before you get brewing
Coffee’s flavour comes from unstable oils that deteriorate very quickly. So, brew it fresh each time and store grounds or powder in airtight containers. For optimum taste, steep the grounds in recently boiled water for two minutes. The flavour will be absolutely stimulating, just like a good cup of coffee should be.

Spice Cafe
An aromatic cup of rich spice-induced coffee and warm brandy, perfect for soothing a cold or a sore throat

Ingredients
½ cup brandy
3 tbsp sugar
5-6 cloves
½ inch cinnamon stick
Rind of 1 lemon
Rind of 1 orange
1/3 vanilla bean
4 cups fresh black coffee

Method
1. Keep the coffee hot in a saucepan.
2. Heat all other ingredients gently in a separate saucepan till the sugar is dissolved and the brandy is warm enough to light.
3. Ignite, pour the coffee over and strain into coffee mugs.

Irish indulgence
A perfect after-dinner drink where you sip the smoky whisky through a mellow cloud of cream!

Ingredients
1 heavy bottomed goblet or glass
2 tbsp whisky (ideally Irish)
1-2 tsp brown sugar
Fresh, strong, dark coffee
2 tbsp heavy cream

Method
1. Pour whisky into the glass, add sugar and place a metal spoon in it.
2. Pour coffee over the spoon and stir to dissolve the sugar.
3. Hold the spoon just above the coffee level and gently pour the cream till it floats on the surface of the coffee. Do not stir. Serve.

Hot Brown
A sweet, silky, dark delicacy dusted with a sprinkling of fragrant cinnamon.

Ingredients
30 ml dark rum
11/2 tsp instant coffee
2-3 tsp condensed milk
Hot water to top
1 tsp cream
Pinch cinnamon powder

Method
1. Put rum and coffee in a mug and add boiling water.
2. Add condensed milk and stir well.
3. Swirl in the cream, sprinkle cinnamon powder and serve.