Women are just as scary when mad!

Are you scary when angry? From physical to verbal abuse, from nasty tricks to humiliating scenes, is your temper getting the better of you? Men talk about women and women about themselves when anger in their lives threatened to destroy it all. By Smita Singh

Angry Women = Scary Women
When Supriya started to realize she had a temper she was 12, when she decided she liked her aggression, she was 26 and climbing the work ladder fast, when she realized she had hit her daughter almost everyday during the summer vacations, she was 32 and her daughter was 4.

“Both my parents had a lot of latent as well as overt aggression and that seeped into me very early. I was also bullied in school as a kid, so in my work place I turned it all out and the sense of power and confidence it gave me was exhilarating.” By the time her husband, understanding to a large extent and usually capable of keeping her in good humor, realized the child had no such defense or guile, Supriya was ready to listen.

“Motherhood took a toll on me. I felt frustrated, incapable of controlling a situation, a baby for god’s sake! I would yell so loudly, erupt in such dramatic ways that both my husband and child started to keep a distance, of course that aggravated me more.” Supriya remembers pinching her daughter hard while watching a movie in the theatre to keep the child from complaining. “Back home at night when I was changing her clothes, I noticed so many places on her arm that had turned red and blue. I was inconsolable for days.”

Supriya has since attended seminars, yoga sessions and little by little worked her anger out in different ways, although she admits there’s a long way to go.

You duck when things come flying, and it’s not funny
Suraj was 3 years into his marriage when he felt desperate enough to leave his job and move to another city to get away. ‘She does not work, so I send her money instead. We had an arranged marriage and I think there will be too many questions if I decided to walk out formally. I once share with a friend and all I got was ‘You are scared of your wife?’ It’s very hard to explain.’ Suraj had been struggling from the first six months of their marriage in which he had witnessed more scenes than in his entire lifetime. “It’s not funny when someone goes completely nuts, looking deranged and sets out to break everything you own. If I ever attempted to over power her in any way it would get worse and it was always my fault that I got her this mad.”

Suraj himself acknowledges his shortcomings- unhappy with the match he was negligent, infuriatingly obstinate and sarcastic when they sat down to discuss their problems. “But none of it, at least in my eyes justifies her behavior because she destroyed my reputation where we lived, I became a laughing stock in office because my colleague shared the same apartment complex. She would threaten to cut herself up with a knife if I so much as touched her - in anger, or to walk out at one in the morning and wake the neighbors if we had a disagreement or I refused to give in on things big and small.” It would eventually build up in such a messy situation that he would drive off, leave her alone to cool down and come back to pick up the pieces later.

“It was not a difficult decision for me to move away, honestly. I was sick of never being able to relax in my own house, always waiting for some ticking bomb to explode.” Suraj has found a temporary haven away from his marriage, but he knows its not going to last forever.

Silence bigger than violence?
Rahul and Pooja hold very different opinions on what breaks a marriage- is it the cold aloofness that he emanated every time they had an argument or the passionate and well, a little aggressive reactions from her side that were inexplicably threatening to him?

“His response to every disagreement was to take on this stoic, hurt demeanor and shut all forms of communication. So while I do realize that my responses went out of hand and I do have a problem in the way I deal with my temper, he was no help in relieving the symptoms. He felt it would belittle him in some way to make a little room,” says Pooja. While she feels it was his cold indifference and vengeful silence that did their relationship in, Rahul believes adults should be accountable for their actions.

He argues, “How can I reach out to a person who wouldn’t give me my time or space to come around and would instead start to bang on doors swearing at me loudly? Sometimes she provoked me deliberately to bring me down to her level, said horrible things about my family and me.”

Pooja of course has a different account of things. “I didn’t need to seek help since we both had too many differences and there was no point in opening up and making myself vulnerable for this person I am not even sure I want to be with. Perhaps it’s something I need to do at my own pace at my own time.”

Whether it was his deliberate attempts to bring out the worst in her, or her temper tantrums themselves, they are no longer together and neither one regrets the break up.

Nightingale poop on your face. Really!

What do you do when a bird poops on your shoulder as you step out? Gross out, right? But what if bird poop was slathered all over your face to give you alabaster smooth skin? Read on for the 'dirt' on this treatment extraordinaire! By Prachi S Vaish

The geisha factor
The mysteriously fascinating faces of Japanese geishas in paintings and photographs clearly mark the prominence of their chalky white makeup foundation and underneath, of their creamy complexion. Fortunately for us, their secret has recently been revealed…nightingale droppings! Actors in the Japanese Kabuki theatre and Geishas were the first to extract and use the natural content of these droppings to repair and rejuvenate their skin, tormented by heavy makeup being a part of their profession. Before that, as early as the 17th century, the nightingale droppings were used to bleach out the colours to create the typical designs on Japanese Kimonos; and since these droppings were gentle enough for the purest silk, along with their bleaching capability, they found their place in skin facials and masks, resulting in whitening of the human skin - the ultimate goal of every woman worth her vanity!

The beauty secret
The reason behind the effectiveness of nightingale droppings in repairing one’s complexion, as explained by Lula, the principal massage therapist at the Hotel Wailea Spa in Maui, is that “As each bird differs in its diet, their droppings are different too. While some birds feed on grains, fish or insects, nightingales are found in plum trees, relishing the hairy caterpillars. The caterpillar stomachs are full with the green plum tree leaves and as the nightingale feeds, it not only consumes the protein and fat from the caterpillar’s body, but also the chlorophyll and plum leaf extracts. Then, the stomach of the bird secretes a strong enzyme that digests the worms; however, their intestines are so short that enzymes too are excreted with the droppings. This same enzyme that breaks down the protein and fat from the caterpillar also dissolves dirt while repairing and whitening damaged skin, and that is the secret to beautiful skin!”

The magic formula
Lula reveals that for their exclusive facials they use these nightingale droppings in a dehydrated and powdered form, mixed with the Azuki bean extract that is rich in protein content. It is a 50-80 minute long deep cleansing procedure that claims to remove dead skin and excess oil from the pores, while whitening the skin, giving you a glowing complexion!

So can you wrinkle your nose and turn a blind eye to the ingredient being rubbed on your face, all for a fairer visage? We say why not!

5 dumbest green gadgets ever

"Go Green" is the buzzword these days but in the enthusiasm to fit the bill, some incredibly imprudent gizmos have been invented that serve no real purpose. Shweta Dravid takes a look at five such gadgets.

Solar Hat Fan
Tackling the scorching heat can lead to bizarre inventions. But nothing is as dumb as the solar hat fan that hangs right in front of your face. Adding to the inconvenience the production of solar panels needs a lot of energy, this contains and even produces some toxic materials.

Eco Kettle
Who knew that a cup of tea could harm the planet? But apparently it does, which led to the invention of Eco kettle that provides us with a greener cup of tea as it fills up with water but boils only as much as selected. But the question that arises is that isn’t more energy wasted in sourcing, manufacturing and transporting this yet another brand new uni-function plastic product from China.

But that’s not the real concern, as drinking tea itself is a not an eco-friendly activity as tea gardens are created by clearing huge forested areas. “Most of the tea estates are located in elephant habitats, which disturb these big magnificent mammals. So, whether a kettle is eco friendly or not, it doesn’t really matter in the entire picture, “says Anuj Khare, a renowned environmentalist and Head of Nature Walk, an NGO.

Asus Ecobook
If you eat and drink while working on the laptop, this Asus Ecobook, built from laminated bamboo strips are definitely not for you. When this supposedly eco friendly notebook hit the market in 2007, people complained that bamboo scraps flew around, leaving only a little bit of paneling that made it more of a green hogwash. “Just imagine the repercussions if your laptop heats up or if the battery catches fire,” notes Anuj.

USB Greenhouse
You might want to have plants at your desk to brighten your day but imagine having an USB-powered greenhouse to enhance your moods. This unique gadget needs a lot of paraphernalia to make it work including a PC with Intel Pentium 4 working at 2.4 gigahertz or faster, at least 128 megabytes of RAM, 100 megabytes of hard drive space, a Windows compatible soundcard, a CD-ROM drive and lastly a specific type of display adapter capable Microsoft Windows XP. “Wouldn’t it be a better idea to just buy a potted plant to feel one with nature instead of all these complications, “says Anuj.

Inflatable Shower Curtain
Taking water conservation to different levels is the new inflatable shower curtain that attacks you and wraps you up in its spikes if too much time is taken in the shower. The idea is to make you more conscious of water usage but at what cost is the question. Instead just build self awareness towards environment conservation and have your bath faster or set an alarm if required.

Anuj muses, “The worst part about “green” gadgets is that they are rarely fully green. They do ease consumer guilt but they may never actually help the planet.”

Better buy a high end product that will last forever than purchasing marginally “green” products that may have to be replaced in the end. It’s just not worth it!

How to plan a wedding… and keep your job

He's proposed and you can now start planning the wedding of your dreams. But how do you manage the never-ending to-do list with the manic work deadlines? Read on to become a master juggler and plan your wedding seamlessly, without having to risk the wrath at the workplace. Trust us, you don't want vindictive colleagues ruining your post-honeymoon high. By Sonali Kokra

Say it loud and clear
No matter how tempting the idea of having a quick wedding might be, guard against it. If you have a wedding to put together and make that big presentation in two weeks, chances are that even if you do manage to pull things together, you’re going to end up looking over-worked and on-the-edge on your big day. Once the wedding date is fixed, tell everyone at your workplace. “Announcing the wedding date is like an informal application for leave,” says jewellery designer Arti Aggarwal, 27. “I had three months to plan my wedding. And the first thing I did was to inform my seniors and colleagues.
That way, no could blame me later for not giving them ample notice.”

Cut back, don’t shirk
Start working towards getting small allowances on your time. A good place to start cutting back is working weekends. “Be upfront,” advises Raksha Behl, 30, a business development manager in an IT firm. “Everyone knows that planning a wedding can be stressful. And no one is going to grudge you a few favours. But don’t push your luck so much that they start thinking of you as unprofessional. Says Payal Raghuvanshi, 27, an HR manager at an advertising agency, “I’ve seen the best and the worst kind of brides.
And the one thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much your boss loves you, if you ruin your reputation with erratic behaviour at this time, chances are, you’re going to be stuck with that image.”

Write it down and switch off
Prioritise your tasks, set cellphone or online reminders and write things down so your mind is not in a constant overdrive. This will ensure you don’t forget work deadlines amid all the wedding work.

Use your break
Use your commute to make your phone calls and do other follow-ups. Lunch breaks are great for these too. Start research and meet up with your wedding planner, designer and caterers during the lunch hour. No long lunches, though. Don’t take any more days off to plan your wedding than absolutely required. “Remember that the fewer holidays you take before the wedding, the more time you can take off for your honeymoon,” says Payal.

Shop smart, shop local
There are several wedding planning websites and other resources for brides that you can surf when you have some free time at work. You can also find vendors and decorators online. You’re better off using it just for services, though. Try to buy stuff from local stores and malls, it makes life easier in case you need to return or exchange things. “I got carried away and went on a country-wide shopping spree,” says Minakshi Waghmare, graphic designer, 28. “When friends arrived with my stuff, it turned into a nightmare. Most of the things weren’t quite what I had envisioned and I couldn’t even get them exchanged. It took a great deal of money and time to set things right and I ended up having to go on a month-long break even before my wedding-something that didn’t go down well with my boss.” So buy local. This way, you’re keeping your carbon footprint manageable too!

Employ your mom
Assign wedding duties to your close friends so that you’re not bogged down with having to do everything yourself. Make sure you show your gratitude to those who helped you out.

Your most important resource is your mother. Anita Goenka, 50, whose daughter got married two months ago, says, “Mothers are a boon, so stop bickering and let them take over if you’re too busy. They know where to find you that perfectly matched blouse without having to comb through the city. They know better than anyone else when you’ll throw a tantrum and what colour suits you best. Let unimportant things slide and remember, she’s been dreaming of this day for almost as long as you have.”

Find a happy place
The idea of getting married at an exotic location may sound exciting, but planning a wedding that’s far away from home is likely to be difficult. While it’s tempting to oversee all the details yourself, it’s not humanly possible if you’re sitting hundreds of kilometres away from the venue. And you’re not going to get enough holidays to be able to play control freak anyway. Your boss may be indulgent, but don’t be delusional. So it’s a good idea to share responsibilities with your fiancé. Once you’ve done that, your work has been cut to half. Nupur Singh, who got married in Goa in 2009, has one important advice to give. “Be prepared to pay a little extra just so that you’re ensured good service,” she says.

What’s a deal breaker for you?

What is it that can make you get up and say enough is enough? 5 Women talk about why they took the decision of walking out of their committed relationships and what finally triggered the call. By Smita Singh

From monogamous to monotonous- The dull and the dreary
“We met through our parents, we sat and discussed work, family, backgrounds, tastes, you name it,” says Deepti of her first of many meetings with her husband of five years whom she recently separated from. “My parents encouraged some distance, as a result I ended up with someone who looked good on paper but was the most disinterested, dull and lifeless person I could have ever imagined. What I perceived as formality and shyness was boredom and next to no imagination.” In face of a life spent with someone who infused no joy, no creativity, and refused to evolve beyond perfunctory trips to his parents, evenings spent in front of the television, and no real connection of thoughts and aspirations, Deepti decided to save the rest of her life for herself and for someone who responded to her life more enthusiastically.

Hooked for life to life on tenterhooks- In to the combat zone
When Monica met him, she knew it was going to last for a long long time. They worked in the same IT firm, their friends all rooted for them and they turned each other on at every level. “I was so thrilled at finding a man I could match wits with, who was and also lets me be combative, charged and bouncing on new ideas. Till I realized he just has to be combative all the time! It was just too much to have to defend every little thing I uttered all day long. It wore me thin to a breaking point- not agreeing on anything, having to justify why I wanted to be friends with someone, why not with somebody else, what my political views are on something and why.” So after three years with almost daily challenges of warding off an onslaught of demeaning allegations and suspicious questioning, Monica walked out of the most promising and the most exhausting relationship of her life at 28.

A penny for your thoughts, literally- The misery of the miser
Well there are some of us who like to pay our bills always, share the burden, take a load off, but that’s just not the same as paying for his new underwear and buying most of his meals- especially when he’s your boss too! “He was actually my supervisor in the marketing company where I worked and after I left, our parents thought it’d be cool to get us together. We went out for 6 months and not a day more!” Almost engaged to the man, Ritu had the hardest time explaining to his parents in embarrassing detail how their son wouldn’t spring for a cola, much less buy tickets or a meal ever! Says Ritu, “He was so tight fisted I cannot remember even once when he agreed to go out with my friends and paid the bill. He never suggested going out so why should he pay, was his logic.” And that spelt a lifetime of solitary partying on pizzas at home or getting crossed out from most friend lists, so Ritu decided to cut her losses and walk out.

Seldom sober but forever sexist - Sick jokes and sicker liver
If your ‘life of the party’ partner goes out like a light as soon as the alcohol’s gone, that’s some booze for thought! “I put everything in trying to pull this relationship through at all costs,” recalls Shipra of her seven-year marriage. After discovering it was not just the alcohol, but his background, his work culture, his major choices in life that she’d have to fight she started giving up hope. “It’s true with most substance abusers- there’s always more than the surface level problem, but the person has to be willing to get out, and what kind of a person would he be once he does get out?” Shipra decided after 7 long years to break away when she started to dislike the person under the alcoholic as well. “His dissatisfaction with life, with himself was all bound up in this rigid hatred of women and I couldn’t live with the sexist jokes in public and the misogyny in private.” Shipra is now divorced and very much at peace.

Where did the love go? - The deal breaks when you don’t know

It might feel like a spell when you first fall in love, but in real life how often are you lucky enough to know exactly when it breaks? Kiran remembers, “We were, by the time my son was born, a perfectly robotic couple. Breakfast, off to work, back to nanny and kid, rushed dinner, numbing television, hurried sex if ever and back to the next day.” After 4 years of living like this the breaking point happened when Kiran saw him with a colleague at a party. “He looked so young, flirtatious, and almost handsome with her. I knew he no longer loved me. That night started our biggest row, led to many more talks and our friends are still surprised at the ease with which we decided to end the marriage.”

If he never cheated on you, you never argued with him, he never let you down, you never nagged him, he never picked on you, you never raged at him- have you got the perfect deal going or is it really the deal breaker? Think about it!

The bond that will never snap: Sisterhood

It's a friendship that started when you opened your eyes and grasped another tiny finger; a friend who fought fiercely for you and with you. Sisterhood is to be remembered, cherished and strengthened as we grow older and wiser, because as 3 women tell us, sisters are forever. By Smita Singh

My sister, my guide, my guardian angel: ‘She credits my wisdom and I her love.’

37 year old mother of two adorable toddler twins, Anamika has been a fiercely protective, loving and nurturing older sister to Arpita. Both married and living in cities far apart, from Dubai to Delhi is a call away for Anamika if her sister ever needs her. “I was 19 when we lost our mother,” recalls Arpita. “I don’t remember exactly when the transformation happened, but my sister, little over a year older than me began loving me and our younger brother as a mother, giving us more time and affection, thinking of our future.”

Arpita, a corporate lawyer on sabbatical and a new mother, loves her elder sister with a deep dedication. Says Arpita, “Even when I deserved it least she loved me. I remember when we were young I criticized her quite harshly for her competitiveness and focus in life. It’s exactly the same qualities about her that I now deeply admire when I see the beautiful life she has made for herself without losing the beauty of her being. I don’t really think I drive her mad at all because I seldom see her disturbed with me. I guess she is graceful enough to look beyond all my faults and take care of everything the only way she knows- with love.”

A profound sense of having a sister watch her back, makes her stronger. Anamika has been a mother, a sister, a friend and above all the guardian angel many may wish for, but few are lucky to live with.

Best Friends Forever: ‘She’s a friend for life, a person I can share anything with.’

For 26 year old Neha, mothering her four years younger sister has become second nature. At the same time she feels that with Natasha, her bond goes beyond that of any friendship she could ever have. And though spats with her sister are not exactly rare, Neha who recently got married remembers one that touched her deeply. “Before the wedding, I was quite tense and jittery and in all of this while my sister hovered around me giving her opinions, I snapped at her very rudely in front of our relatives.” Young Natasha, all of 22 years, took it to heart and swore not to dance at the wedding! “She cried and told me she won’t do anything for me ever! We slept in separate rooms that night and I felt awful. In the morning I started to look for her and before I could say anything, she hugged me. I told her I was sorry as we hugged and that precise moment I realised how much I am going to miss her.”

As a creative director at a media production house, and married, Neha hardly gets the time she once had with her sister. “Living with Natasha meant mess all around especially in the bathroom, and she also has this habit of using my clothes misplacing them and then denying! But I still miss her like crazy and value any time I get to spend with her. I talk to her a lot more and mother her all the time now.”

Describing her relationship with Natasha, she says, “I have a bond with my sister that gets strengthened every day. It can’t be described because even as it keeps evolving, it remains constant and dependable.”

Soul Sisters: ‘I would give everything I have to see her smile and be happy.’

“Ever since I was a kid, I thought of Geetika as someone who’ll shelter me from the garbage in life. She’d give up her things insisting I get the best,” says 27 year old Kushal, a Media and Communications professional of her sister Geetika, who is three years older and a teacher. Used to Geetika checking in on her during recess in school to make sure she was okay, with time it was Kushal who took over protecting her quieter sibling. “If someone hurt her, they’d have to deal with me!”

In fact after having joined a spiritual community a couple of years ago, Kushal feels they are both bonded souls. “We have bonded as more than just sisters born of the same womb. If we are mad at each over something, or have hurt each other, I don’t need to hear her say sorry- it has no meaning for me.”

But even soul sisters can get on each other’s nerves! “She will weigh the pros and cons of each small or big decision carefully- whether it’s what to have for breakfast or the colour of the house, where as I go with the flow. And now that I am getting married in less than a month, whenever I’ll think of home, I’ll think of her waiting for me with the same innocence and pure love as when we were kids. I’ll miss sitting on my ass at the end of a long day, and badgering her into making her awesome cold coffee and not so good Maggie noodles!’

From sharing clothes to secrets, worries to memories, for Kushal and Geetika, sisterhood is when conversations never really do end and having “Someone you can’t ever lie to and who’ll never judge you even if you’re having the worst ever hair and skin day!”

Taash bash for two

All you want is to spend a quiet holiday with your man - without compromising on the traditions. We draw up just the plan for you. You, him, a pack of cards and some colourful games - we certainly can't think of a more perfect holiday than that!

Here are some naughty, some exciting card game ideas to get you started…

Gotcha!
This is a fun game, sure to keep both of you on your toes. All you need is a deck of cards. Shuffle them and divide the deck amongst the both of you. One by one, you have to start laying out the cards alternatively. If you lay the same numbered card upon the other, you have to shout out ‘Gotcha’, for example, a 2 upon a 2. The one who shouts out ‘gotcha’ first, gets to keep the entire stack of cards which has been laid down. You have to be sharp to win this game. You can make it more fun or creative by adding variations… like greater/ smaller numbers (a 4 upon a 3 and vice versa). In case you wrongly shout out ‘Gotcha’, your partner gets to keep the cards instead. And of course, you can give this a naughty twist. The person who loses can be made to do whatever the winner wants.

Your wish is my command
What you need:
From a pack of regular cards all the Kings and Queens.
So you’ll have 8 cards in all.

Divide the cards into 2 sets (2 kings and 2 queens). Both of you have to hide each card from your set in different places in the house.

Objective of the game:
To find the other person’s set in a limited time period. Each card represents a wish (the king - a crazy fantasy, the queen - a domestic fantasy) which the other partner has to fulfil. You have to find as many cards as you can (which your partner has hidden) within 10 minutes. Works great for those spouses who have a lot of wishes (read fantasies) to fulfil.

Match point
You all must have played the memory game on the computer. This is the card version of the game. Shuffle and lay out the entire deck of cards on the floor in a square, face down. Open two cards at a time to see if they match. If they don’t, you will have to turn them around once again in their original positions. As you open more and more cards, you will have to memorise the position of the earlier cards so as to make a match. Once you make a match, you will get to keep those cards. The partner with the most cards at the end of the match is the winner.

We have surely got you thinking with these. Now, create your own as you go along. Turn off the lights, sparkle the house with diyas and settle down in your living room, after Laxmi Puja, with a deck of cards, just you and him, and voila… you’ll have the most memorable Diwali with your partner.

Should you pick the tab?

Should you cough it up if you have cash to burn or should you just wait for the cute guy to foot the bill? The issue is situational. Baisakhi Roy gets 3 men and 3 women to answer, explain their reasons and debate this one out unequivocally

If you are just friends
“Always pay your own; money can ruin friendship. Whether out with girl or guy pals, we always spilt it evenly,” says quality manager Melanie D’Souza, (29).

Some men are pretty matter of fact about this situation. “If low on funds, one can tell the other to pay, male or female,” says 30 year old singer and songwriter, Hitesh Rupani.

If you are on a date… first or second!
Things aren’t as simple if there is a possibility of a romantic connection, hovering in the far distance, or the near future. “Yes, on the first date, the guy MUST pay to maintain a good impression. Every woman loves chivalry I think. But I would insist and pay on the second date,” says Antara Ray (30) an environmental consultant in Kolkata.

Some men are much too happy to comply and some think that chivalry is a two-way lane. “I make it a point to pay as she is my responsibility,” says Pratyush Bhaskar (30), a journalist. “It’s not an out-dated notion; I think guys are still expected to pay. That being said, I love it when a girl offers to pay. I’m a little turned off by girls who expect me to pay, and don’t put up a fight when I get the bill,” says 30 year old Karn Kowshik, a mountaineer who is currently travelling in Leh.

If you are serious
It’s a completely different kind of date when there is a level of commitment. Says Rupani, “On a date only where there is a commitment should a guy offer to pay.” Bhaskar agrees, “I belong to the old school so I prefer to do it the old fashioned way… paying for all.”

The ladies are gracious enough to pay their own though. “From what I hear of the younger generation, they still expect the boys to pay, which I think is lame. But the self-respecting girls pay their way. If I were a guy on a date, I’d expect the girl to at least offer to pay her half, or to offer to pay next time, even if she didn’t,” says Mishana Khot, (30) a copy supervisor based in Mumbai.


It’s all about the connection
Rupani says bluntly that if a man has money to burn, he should pay at all times for everyone regardless of girlfriend or anyone! Kowshik agrees. “I have been on dates where the girl pays, either because she asked me out or because she really wants to, and I accept since I’m a little broke. It doesn’t really change anything. At the end of the day, if you connect with someone, it doesn’t really matter who pays, right?”

“As far as my guy friends are concerned, there are all kinds. Some are so chivalrous that they insist on paying every time. But most of them pretty much prefer splitting the bill, if they are meeting regularly. Recently, my batch mates from Mumbai met after a good 15 years and the guys did not let the girls pay, so there,” says Antara.

The all-important alcohol etiquette
This one can get rather tricky as alcohol tends to work up the bill and not everyone in a group usually drinks. So what does one do with the booze tab? Mishana Khot specifies, “There’s no sorting out for me, I split bills half way with my man, from pre-living together days, and on days when one doesn’t have money, the other pays. If it’s a big amount, one pays it back; if not, the favour is returned another day. If girls go out, or pals, we split the bills amongst us, and if someone is not drinking, they don’t pay for the alcohol.”

What’s your money mantra? Though you may always offer to pay up, would you be comfortable being with a guy who doesn’t even offer to foot your tab? Tell us; we are dying to hear!

Your personalized wedding calendar

On her wedding day, every woman wants to rise above the ordinary and look better than her best. Dharini Turakhia, the owner of Fahrenheit, chain of Unisex L'Oreal Salons and Spas, makes this feat achievable by drawing out a unique wedding calendar for you

2 months before the wedding day
• For radiant glowing skin on the D-Day, start your facial treatments at the very latest 2 months before the wedding. If you are suffering from any skin problems such as acne, pigmentation, tanning etc. a minimum of 4-6 sessions is essential. For normal skin starting now is equally important so that you get used to a particular brand and test for any reactions to it.
• Start your body treatment by exfoliating and buffing the skin and aim for an overall even skin tone. A regimen of scrub, massage and wrap will work wonders for your skin.
• Indulge in hair conditioning treatments to rejuvenate and recondition your locks.
• Book the makeup + hair artist - if you haven’t already done so already. You have no time to lose. To choose the artist, ask for a trial and rife through their wedding albums to assess their previous work.
• This is the best time to finalize on the different looks as you are most likely to have frozen on the themes of the various functions and picked outfits for them by now.
• Fix on a daily home care mantra with your therapist for the next 2 months. The regimen should ideally include cleansing, toning, moisturizing and sun block for the day and a night cream or fairness emulsion for the night.

1 month before
• Follow-up on the recommended face, skin + hair treatments.
• This is a good time to get a haircut. Take into consideration the looks that have been decided and don’t go in for excessive layers or shorten the length drastically as it will hinder the final result. If in doubt, stick to a trim. A one month time frame to ideal to let the haircut settle in nicely before the D-Day.
• If you are planning on getting a bikini wax done prior to the honeymoon, now would be good time to trial it and test for reactions. Also that sensitive area would be in better readiness post the initial experience.
• Go in for a spa pedicure to get rid of cuticles, dead skin and to hydrate the dry feet.

15 days before
• Follow-up on the recommended face treatment.
• If you want to go in for some fabulous highlights to lift your overall look plus give you an amazing makeover - 15 days would be best time to do it. You would get comfortable with the new look plus it will remain fresh for the final day.

1 week before
• Follow-up on the recommended face treatment.
• Nail extensions work wonders on a brides hands specially if you have some difficulty in growing your nails. Nail extensions if done right look completely natural and can be further beautified by indulging in some gorgeous nail art. They can feel a bit heavy but a week would be perfect for you to get used to them.
• Reconfirm the date, time and overall look with the makeup artist.

3-4 days before
• Dedicate 4-5 hours or break up into two sessions for a complete head to toe grooming session. This should ideally include a hair spa, the final face treatment with bleach, full body wax including the bikini wax, manicure (buff and fill if you have extensions), pedicure, threading, full body scrub, massage and wrap.

On the day
• Start off by following the basic skin routine that you must have established 2 months in advance. Don’t try any new products or homemade remedies to avoid last minute skin mishaps.
• Start hair and makeup at least 2 hours before the appointed time to have ample time to get dressed.
• Relax, smile and enjoy the day.

Do you have the guts for these?

For a woman her beauty is foremost and anything goes to keep that glow on her face. We reveal some totally scary spa treatments that make you wonder how much is too much! By Prachi S Vaish

Leech therapy
How about letting bloodsucker leeches dig their teeth into your skin? Oh no! Right? Also known as Hirudotherapy, leeches have been used on and off for over 2000 years for various ailments. They are supposed to be effective in many areas involving blood flow regulation, inflammation, heart and lung conditions and many more. It is believed that leeches are so effective due to the anti-coagulating agents found in their saliva that results in smoother blood flow from the affected area. You think it’s a good bargain - those suckers for a relief from chronic illness?

Laser vaginal rejuvenation
Bikini waxing is the maximum terror you can think of inflicting on yourself down there? Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation (LVR) goes a step further. Imagine laser beams all over your nether regions, tightening them up to give you a more youthful, firmer vagina! Agreed there are no incisions involved, but laser beams playing with your vagina isn’t such a pleasant thought either. LVR is the latest rage in the most posh societies in the west nowadays and willing women are ready to shell out up to $10,000 for a single session to tighten up! So are you going to be satisfied with a fanny facial or does it take LVR to complete your ‘full-body’ spa experience?

Snake massage
For about $70-$80, you can have your own Fear Factor moment by indulging in this slithering massage treatment perfected by Ada Barak in northern Israel. She uses king snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes for the treatment and claims that once people can get past the initial hitches, they will find this massage quite stress relieving. We wonder if the customers agree!

Placenta facials
Seems like the perfect issue for human rights to fight on…isn’t it? Beauty treatment aficionados feel otherwise. For the unaware, placenta is the living organ that attaches a growing fetus to the mother’s uterine wall as the baby develops in the womb. It is expelled naturally from the body right after birth and is enriched with stem cells. According to beauty experts, the same science that makes stem cell therapy unprecedented in regeneration and recovery, works wonders to reverse the ageing process and rejuvenate one’s skin! Does it work? Maybe someone should ask sultry J Lo who attributes her youthful skin to Placenta facials! Sheep as well as human placenta is used for these facials and both are considered equally effective. Now the question is how far are you willing to go to get that glow on your skin?

Bull semen hair conditioning
A latest addition to the carte du jour of Hari’s salon in London (Catherine Zeta Jones’ favourite salon) is the option of getting your hair washed with a mixture of bull semen and a protein rich plant root, Katera. The salon avers that this strengthens your hair and gives it glossy shine. It costs just above $100 and lasts for about 45 minutes.

Things that would give you goose bumps are being slathered and smeared for beauty’s sake in the most exclusive joints. Are you bold enough to indulge?

Indulge in Red Wine facials

It's Diwali time and pampering yourself with an exotic treatment right now is only justified. Red wine facial is the all new rage right now so how about going for it? Salil Jayakar finds out all about the magical abilities of this all-natural skin care ingredient

Across the country and the world, red wine facials are finding favour with cosmetologists and women cutting age groups. A red wine facial is a treatment that uses red wine - a potent anti-oxidant - as its main ingredient. With an anti-oxidant activity 50 times more effective than vitamin E and 20 times more than vitamin C, red wine visibly reduces the appearance of wrinkles and improves skin elasticity and moisture content. It protects against free radicals and increases intracellular levels of vitamin C and, which has an anti-wrinkle effect.

According to Dr. Rohini Wadhwani, Cosmetologist and Medical Director - Skin Essentials,“Red wine does wonders for the skin not only because it neutralises free radicals but also because it forms complexes that inhibit metallic ions which induce the formation of free radicals.” Simply put, it inhibits the destruction of collagen fibres, stimulates the activity of certain detoxifying enzymes and inhibits others that are responsible for premature ageing of cutaneous tissues. Everything put together has very positive effects on the skin!

POSITIVE EFFECTS OF RED WINE ON SKIN

• The skin is more protected against oxidation and free radical damages.

• Collagen produced in optimal conditions has a firming effect and unifies skin tone.

• Increased microcirculation activates all the vital functions of skin.

• Collagen, elastin, andhyaluronic acid - all placed in the dermis - are in optimal condition. As a result the skin is resilient.

Ideally, depending on the existing condition of your skin, the effects of a red wine facial are visible from the very first treatment itself. The treatment is a set procedure using products according to individual skin type and skin condition along with an anti-ageing machine to achieve results. Naturally, the procedure varies from person to person depending on their skin condition. A single treatment can cost upwards of Rs. 2,000/- in India.

BENEFITS OF RED WINE

• Skin becomes smoother, silkier to touch

• Makeup glides on faster, looks better and lasts longer

• Firming, smoothing action fills in lines instantly

• Anti-fatigue factor energises tired looking skin

• Deeply moisturises and smoothes skin

• Leaves skin luminous, rested and radiant

Red wine can also be combined with caviar for facial treatments that are also beneficial to the skin. Contrary to popular perception, in such treatments, caviar creams with caviar as their main ingredient are used. “Caviar is a source of marine DNA, a key element to skin cell regeneration. Products with a marine DNA base are basically hydrators that reduce superficial lines and wrinkles thereby improving the skin’s appearance,” informs Dr. Wadhwani. Known for its rich, nutritive components for years, caviar hydrates and nourishes the skin, intensifying the processes within the skin cells to slow down the skin ageing process.

Well, there you have it then. Red wine facials for fabulous skin! Don’t head to the nearest wine shop to buy some bottles, head to the nearest spa instead.

WHERE CAN YOU INDULGE
Available at most leading hi-end spas and 5 star hotel spas across the country.

Muse over metallic facials

Metallic facials that were used extensively in olden days have been revived with renewed vigour to promote clear and well hydrated skin, much to the chagrin of dermatologists who think otherwise. Parmita Chakrovorty analyses the pros and cons of metallic facials.

All that shines may not be gold
Gold definitely has shining properties agree most of the beauty experts. “Gold is one of the softest metals and is easily absorbed by the skin. It has powerful revitalising effects which leaves your skin glowing,” says Shahnaz Hussian who has an entire gold product line infused with goodness and qualities of gold properties. When used as a facial, it exfoliates and rejuvenates the skin by improving the skin elasticity and blood circulation. It even delays the ageing process as it slows down collagen depletion and the breakdown of elastin to prevent sagging skin.

Usage of gold in facials even encourages lymphatic drainage and removal of wastes and toxins. But doctors contadict this benefit saying they feel the molecules of precious metals are too large to be absorbed by the skin and benefit in any way. Pune-based certified aesthetician Kaneeka Vijay Kumar of Jeevaa Skin Care says, “Most of the manufacturers make the product look like gold but the products don’t have any gold components in them and the ingredients used don’t do any good. In Ayurveda, it is consumed orally as bhasma but if it helps topically is doubtful.”

The silver saga
Silver facial masks have anti-ageing benefits which are said to detoxify and purify the skin, smoothen wrinkles, heal soft tissues and relax the nerves and muscles of your face. It even possesses antibacterial qualities. “Silver facial contains the goodness of silver powder which is excellent for nourishment and prevents formation of black heads,” says Dr Meha Mhatre, owner Tressez Trichology and Advanced Skin care centre, Mumbai.

Many companies like Omveda, VLCC and a few others promote Silver facial products which can benefit your skin texture and appearance. VLCC Silver Glow Scrub enriched with Silver Powder and Wintercherry Extracts is a powerful antiseptic, healing and soothing scrub which rapidly removes dead skin cells, accumulated impurities and clears the skin pores.

Inspite of the amazing results experienced by different women, Kaneeka argues that the improvement in your skin is perhaps due to the massage you received or the other ingredients used in the facial, rather than the silver used. Also, if you have acne prone and sensitive skin, steer away from this facial as it might worsen the skin condition.

Platinum paradox
The most expensive amongst the metallic facials is the platinum facial. Believed to have an array of benefits, this facial cleanses the dead skin and gets you a brighter skin tone. It also helps in muscle toning and skin firming to ensure smooth and shiny skin texture. Just a blend of platinum dust and aloevera juice can replenish the skin with lost moisture and glow and get you a youthful appearance. But like its metal counterparts, this facial is also unsuitable for acne prone and sensitive skin, leading to breakouts and rashes. So you have to be slightly careful!

If you’re looking for Platinum facial products, Nature’s essence offers a Platinum kit facial. This special Kit is a careful selection of platinum dust, essential oil and waxes which offers complete purification of the skin and platinum like radiance.

Whether metallic facials are beneficial or not is debatable. If you do opt to go for one, make an informed choice.

Hellerwork from heaven

Hellerwork is an intensive therapy that combines deep-tissue massage, movement education and dialogue to help cut back stress and ease mobility. Juhi Dua tells you why you must make it a part of your usually stressful routine

What is Hellerwork?
Hellerwork is a form of bodywork or body therapy developed in the 1970’s by Joseph Heller, an aerospace engineer. It is a powerful system of somatic education and structural bodywork, based on the concept of union of body, mind, and spirit. The body is worked up through a deep tissue massage and is combined with verbal dialogue, helping the person establish a relationship between body and mind.

Conditions Treated
Hellerwork is recommended for improving and treating

• Backache and poor posture
• Muscle pain, especially neck and shoulder
• Stress and stress-related illnesses
• Sports injuries

The 50,000 mile service for the body!
Celebrity health guru and detox expert Dr. Nish Joshi who runs The Joshi Clinic in London and has the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow as his loyal patrons explains how Hellerwork helps in eliminating pain. He says, “By becoming more conscious of the importance of the simple, everyday arts of movement, like sitting, standing, bending and walking, Hellerwork clients learn to use gravity constructively rather than fight against it, which gives them more ease and relief from aches and pains. It releases accumulated chronic tension and proves to be a deeply detoxifying experience for mind and body.”

A Typical Hellerwork Treatment
Hellerwork usually begins with pointing out what’s wrong with your current lifestyle and body conduct. Often photographs are also taken to compare posture and health before and after the Hellerwork effect. The therapy is based on the supposition that every person is intrinsically healthy and needs to be connected with his or her innate health. For the same, a deeper experience is created through integrity in your body, your movement, and in your relationship with your mind, body and spirit, usually through 11 sessions over a period of time.

In each session, a certain part of the body is tackled and the energies are focused on emotions related to that area. The Hellerwork practitioner uses soft tissue manipulation techniques and briefs the client about the best practices on sitting, standing and walking without unnecessarily stressing or straining the body. Along with this, ‘guided verbal dialogue’ is used to address emotions that work on muscles and play a role in controlling breathing. Through a joint effect of all this, when your body comes into alignment within the field of gravity, prolonged aches and body tension get diminished.

Dr Joshi elaborates, “In an intensive approach over a short series of treatments, and working with the deep muscle structure, Hellerwork improves balance and alignment and coaches clients in good use of the body. In this way dramatic improvements in posture can be achieved as if many years of yoga have been practiced. In effect, it services the vehicle and educates the driver!”

Eating more = Eating less

Let the superwoman in you take charge of what, when, how and why you eat. It's high time you become your own portion master. Here's how to hub on a plan before you venture out, says dietician Naomi Dsouza

Beginning the day with a full stomach is more productive
The brain is rejuvenated after an 8 hour fast while sleeping. So keep the first meal to a satiation point. Make a ratio of 60:40, the prior proteins and latter carbohydrates. You can kick the word “diet” out of your mind. Suggested combinations include 3 egg whites and 2 slices of bread, oat gruel, and a bowl of fruit.

Drinking can satiate too
While snacking in between meals avoid making the mistake of only relying on eating. Soups and white meat broths are perfect. It works to your advantage if they have chopped veggies in them. Munching gives you the feeling of eating.

White food is not always the enemy
The secret is to combine it with less desired foods like greens and veggies. Ensure you are having what you like and you’re not cursing or sulking. Combine rice, pasta and noodles with veggies you like.

Fulfill 1/4th the desire for a certain hankering
The biggest mistake we make is to stop and procrastinate on gorging on the item we crave the most. This leads to overindulging later. So next time you see your favourite apple pie, stretch for a piece. You may surprise yourself when you eat lesser than you anticipated. Studies reveal that when the body is satisfied, the mind automatically governs you to stop.

Give up saving on calories for a feast later
You’d rather feast in little bouts than in one go. Fulfill that need and have small healthy meals throughout the day to keep the inflow of nutrients.

Spot the difference between Mini-Size and Minimize
You can minimize the calorie drenched spreads, and minisize the sugar bars. Get the drift of listening to what you want, what you need and what you must have in your plate.

Let the walk be your only salvation
Be it the treadmill or a jog outside. Let NOTHING or NO ONE let you deviate from that. If you have a regime, stay with it. Even if its 3 weeks since you have started or three months, even if you do not see the results you wish to see, continue with full gusto. Studies reveal that once you keep the regime up, different body types respond differently. Don’t get disheartened. Continue the workout. Visible changes take time, but invisible benefits manifest faster. Fat generated over the years is stubborn and won’t leave you in days or weeks.

Remember to De-stress!
With relaxation you can control your blood pressure, blood glucose levels and hormone levels. Thus you will also stay more in control of what goes into your mouth.

Fight the flu with food

Your neighbour and colleagues are down with the flu, and the virus seems to be on the prowl, waiting to pounce on the next unsuspecting victim. In such a scenario, arming yourself with effective food tips to keep yourself flu-free is essential, says Chandana Banerjee

Research shows that some of our everyday foods contain powerful compounds that can strengthen the immune system, combat viruses and keep the flu away. So, walk over to your kitchen or head to the bazaar to stock up on the following foods…

Fruits and veggies
Delhi-based nutritionist Anshul Jaibharat, B.Sc, PGDM - food and nutrition, tells us about the ACE triple effect for choosing the right vitamins to ward of the flu. “Vitamins A, C and E are powerful antioxidants that inactivate harmful free radicals and increase immunity by maintaining the body’s natural immune cells,” she says. So top up your plate with veggies and fruits such as carrots, green leafy vegetables, tomatoes, cherries, gooseberries, and guava. You must also load up on broccoli, cantaloupes, citrus fruits, pumpkin, squash and green peppers, which are great sources of vitamins.

Yogurt
Think yogurt, think probiotics. “Probiotics are good bacteria found in yoghurts and other cultured dairy products that increase the secretion of disease fighting immune enzyme found in intestines,” explains Jaibharat.

Nuts, beans, tofu, fish and meats
Tuck into tofu, dried beans and lean meats, as well as nuts, grains and fish to get adequate iron and selenium. Iron is great for strengthening overall immunity, while selenium helps in the growth of immune cells.

Oysters, poultry, cereals and milk
All these food products, including yogurt and beans are good sources of zinc, a mineral that helps your body produce stronger antibodies in a jiffy.

Lemons, oats and barley
Anshul Jaibharat recommends lemons and fresh lemon juice for “restoring the body’s internal climate ( ph balance) that supports healthy bacteria and not the trouble causing viruses which thrive in more acidic environments.” She also mentions oats and barley for their beta glucan, a type of fibre with anti- microbial and anti-oxidant properties.

Chicken soup
We’ve heard of Chicken Soup for the Soul, but health experts will tell you that this hearty soup is just as good for the body. Drink a bowl of this and you’ll feel more energetic. If you’re already down with the cold, it’ll help clear up clogged airways. So brew some chicken soup with pieces of chicken, lots of veggies, onions, garlic and herbs and get sipping.

Garlic
Garlic has been used for ages to treat fungal and viral infections. This magic vegetable contains allicin, ajoene and thiosulfates, which help the body fight infections.

Tea
Good news for chai lovers! “Herbal teas are packed with antioxidants,” says Jaibharat. Choc-a-bloc with polyphenols, a cup of herbal tea packs quite a punch, where free radicals are concerned.

If you ever wondered about healthy bingeing, you have your answer now!

Broths are nice!

Beat the winter by sipping delicious and wholesome broths this season. Chef Gavin Vaz suggests perfect recipes to boost your energy and kill those recurrent hunger pangs that are common this season

Chicken/Beef Broth
This broth recipe is very easy to prepare and has the perfect ingredients to boost your immunity and energy levels.

Ingredients
1 whole chicken/beef carcass
1 large onion
3 carrots peeled
3 stalks celery
5 pods garlic
Water as required
3 stems parsley
2 bay leaves
6 peppercorns

Method
1. Clean the carcass from any fat and extra skin.
2. Wash the carcass under running water.
3. Take the onion, carrot, celery, garlic parsley, bayleaf and peppercorn and tie in a bundle of muslin cloth.
4. Make holes in the muslin cloth with a knife or a fork.
5. Place the carcass along with the bundle of herbs and spices in a pot with required amount of water and bring to a boil.
6. Lower the flame and bring to a simmer.
7. Keep on simmer for at least an hour and half.
8. Skim the broth from any foam that floats on top.
9. Remove the broth from heat and strain.
10. Garnish with coriander or parsley and serve hot.

Lamb Scotch Broth
Originating in Scotland as the name suggests, the Scotch broth soup is a wholesome, warming and delectable. It is more of a main dish rather than a starter soup, combining the goodness of barley, fresh veggies along with lamb.

Ingredients
1kg neck of mutton or lamb
75g pearl barley
1 large onion
75g fresh peas
1 large leek
3 turnips
3 carrots
2 tablespoons of freshly chopped parsley
salt and pepper
Water as required

Method
1. Soak the barley and split peas.
2. Chop all the vegetables.
3. Heat oil and add the chopped onion. Once softened, add the water and meat and boil, skimming off any fatty deposits from the top.
4. After boiling for about half an hour, add the barley and peas and simmer for another 30 minutes.
5. Add the remaining vegetables.
6. Add parsley before serving.

Bean Pasta Broth
A slight variation to the regular non vegetarian broths, this bean pasta broth is an absolutely delicious dish power packed with proteins.

Ingredients
1 carrot, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
4 cloves garlic, crushed
480 g beans (French beans, Rajma)
2 cups vegetable stock
450 g chopped tomatoes
2 tbsp chopped parsley
450 g pasta (farfalle, penne or macaroni)
Salt to taste

Method
1. Put a large pot of salted water to boil for the pasta.
2. In a large non-stick or lightly oiled pot, stir fry the carrot, celery and garlic in their juices for 3-4 minutes.
3. Add the beans, broth and parsley.
4. Cover and simmer over low heat for 5 minutes.
5. Meanwhile, cook the pasta in the boiling water until al dente.
6. Drain the pasta and add to the pot with the vegetables.
7. Taste for seasoning. Serve in bowls with a sprinkle of parsley.

Breakfast bonanza for diabetics

The 'World Diabetics Day' is being celebrated on 14th November. To mark this occasion, nutritionist Naini Setalvad suggests healthy and delicious breakfast recipes for diabetics. After all, what better way to celebrate any occasion than food, right?

As a diabetic, it is very important to eat the right food to control the disease and breakfast plays a major role in it. “For diabetics, food needs to be low in the glycemic index to give substantial energy for a long period of time and prevent blood fluctuations. All vegetables are low in the glycemic index. While amongst the grains, barley and oats are really low in the glycemic index and perfect to start your day with,” says Naini. So, ensure you try to include these ingredients in your morning diet. But perk it up a bit with a traditional twist as mentioned in the following recipes.

OATS UPMA
A traditional variation to the regular oats and milk combination, this recipe has the goodness of vegetables and is power packed with proteins.

Ingredients
1 cup oats
2 cups of mixed vegetables like carrot, green beans and peas
Onion - 1 medium
Few curry and coriander leaves
1 small piece ginger
3 green chillies
1 tsp chickpeas powder (chana dal)
1 tsp mustard
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp extra virgin olive oil
Salt to taste

Method
1) Heat one tsp of olive oil in a pan or kadai.
2) Add mustard, jeera and channa dal. Once it splutters, add chopped onion and sauté till golden brown.
3) Add chopped chillies and ginger and saute for 3 minutes.
4) Bring to a boil.
5) Add salt and oats and mix thoroughly.
6) Cover with a lid and cook till the oats are cooked.

INSTANT OATS DOSA
Whisked together with rice and buttermilk, the oats dosa spiced with green chillies, coriander leaves and cumin seeds, is really delicious.

Ingredients
2 cups oats
2 tbsp rice
Buttermilk/Yogurt (enough to soak and cover the oats)
2 green chillies
A pinch of asafoetida
Water as required
2 tsp finely chopped coriander
1 tsp cumin seeds (optional)
Salt to taste

Method
1) Add the rice and oats into a bowl carefully seeing to it that all the husk if any is removed. To this add buttermilk or yogurt and allow it to soak for 20 minutes.
2) When soaked, pour it into a blender and grind well.
3) Add salt, asafoetida, chopped green chillies, coriander and a little water to get the dosa batter consistency.
4) Heat the girdle and start making dosa. Please note, this dosa will not be crisp. It will be a little soft but very tasty. Savour it with coriander chutney.

BARLEY PARATHA
Enjoy the goodness of barley in a paratha. A rich source of essential amino acids, it is the perfect ingredient for diabetics to start their day with.

Ingredients
¾ cup barley flour
2 tbsp wheat flour
Half onion chopped
1 tsp Garlic paste
1tsp Ginger chilli paste
1 extra virgin olive oil
Salt to taste

Method
1) Chop onion and make a coarse puree in the mixer.
2) Make dough by mixing all the above ingredients, water and 1/2 tsp of oil.
3) Roll into a paratha.
4) Heat the pan, smear it with oil and place the paratha on it and cook.
5) Relish with coriander and mint leave chutney or tomato sauce.

Food seduction begins here

Do you love looking at food even more than gorging on it? Do you salivate over the luscious creations in Top Chef and Nigella? Then be sure to check out our list of classic movies that celebrate the pleasures of food and drink. Just don't watch them on an empty stomach says Shalini Venugopal Bhagat!

1. Eat Drink Man Woman (1994, Taiwan) - Order a meal from your favourite Chinese takeaway before you sit down to watch this classic, you’ll start feeling hungry within minutes! Directed by Ang Lee, this is possibly the best food movie of all times, following the life of widowed chef Chu and his three adult daughters. As his daughters forge new relationships, Chu uses his brilliant culinary skills to show his love and try and keep his family together. When you see actor Sihung Lung dicing and slicing away in the kitchen, it’s hard to believe he isn’t a trained chef.

2. Big Night (1996, USA) - This indie flick has long been a favourite of film critics and food lovers alike. Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci star in this touching and comic gem about two immigrant Italian brothers trying to run a restaurant in 1950’s America. Primo (Shalhoub) is the brilliant, perfectionist chef trying to introduce savage Americans to true Italian cooking while Secondo (Tucci) is the manager running the business end and trying to keep it afloat. It’s not easy when customers want to know why the lovingly cooked risotto doesn’t come with spaghetti on the side!

3. Julie and Julia (2009, USA) - Any film on culinary legend Julia Child definitely takes food seriously. High powered stars Meryl Streep (as the iconic chef) and Amy Adams (as the blogger Julie Powell who’s trying to follow in her footsteps) are upstaged by the delicacies that their characters whip up onscreen. It’s based on the true story of how Julie Powell spent a year cooking her way through Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking; cooking up 524 recipes in 365 days. And a lot of it features in the film. You might even run out to buy a copy of the seminal cookbook to try some of those decadent dishes!

4. Tampopo (1985, Japan) - This ‘noodle western’ has been described variously as an “ode to sensual pleasure” and as “zen and the art of noodle making”. The story revolves around a young widow Tampopo who’s struggling to run her little noodle shack. Unfortunately she can’t cook to save her life but she finds help from a trucker named Goro, who stays on to help her perfect her ramen making skills. While Tampopo learns more about the perfect ramen, there are several sexy and hilarious side-plots involving assorted odd-ball characters. This is a movie that celebrates the sensuality of eating as much as that of cooking!

5. No Reservations (2007, USA) - This light hearted rom-com starring Catherine Zeta Jones and Aaron Eckhart is an enjoyable watch, as much for the chemistry between the lead pair as the delicious meals being created. Kate (Zeta Jones) is a control-freak master chef whose regimented life turns upside down when her sister is killed in a car accident and her young niece comes to live with her. When Nick (Eckhart) an exuberant, opera-loving sous-chef joins the restaurant, Kate sees him as a rival trying to take over her kitchen and battle lines are drawn. While Kate and Nick spar over whether French or Italian cuisine is superior, you can salivate over the luscious creations they whip up to outdo each other.

Can you think of any more films that celebrate food? Leave your suggestions below!

6 reasons why every woman should visit Hungary

Nestled in Central Eastern Europe lie Hungary's best kept secrets. The country boasts of the world's best spas, thermal baths and hot springs, thanks to it's mineral-rich purifying thermal waters. Anjum Dhir Kulkarni guides you on 6 ways to spoil yourself silly here

1. Budapest Baths
The capital houses some luxurious wellness centres. Along with therapeutic treatments for aches, pains and stress, weight loss programmes including underwater massages and gymnastics are popular. Szechenyi baths, Gellert baths, Rudas baths and the Kempinski spa are the places to be. Soak up the powers and pleasures of the mineral waters in the 400 years old Turkish bath Kiraly Furdo. Margaret Island, a beautiful recreational park on the Danube River, is famous for the luxurious Danubias Thermal Hotel and the glorious 100 year’s old Ramada Grand Hotel. It’s no wonder then that you find a cure for everything from circulation to fractures in this city!

2. Chic Countryside Resorts
Step out of Budapest and visit the cave-spa in the northeast, in Tapolca for a one-in-a-million experience. Once in the countryside, you have to spend time at the Hévíz Lake with its 47,500 square metres of hot (33°C) medicinal water. The lake is fed by a thermal spring supplying it 20,000 litres of water every minute, ensuring that the lake water is renewed within every 72 hours! Now that really is a new standard in luxury! The mud covering the bottom of the lake is especially curative. The forested parks and the clean air coupled with the friendly locals make this a truly unforgettable experience.

3. Fishing and Play at The Hungarian Sea
This is what Lake Balaton, the great Hungarian fresh-water lake, is called. Lake Hé víz is located near the western end of the Balaton. The mountainous area of the northern shore is a major wine region, while the flat southern shore is known for its resort towns, many of which have artificial sandy beaches with step access to the water. Here you can sail, fish and indulge in other water sports, cycle or walk through the countryside and party the night away in the clubs dotting the lakeside. A visit to top vineyards and cellars in the north for some wine tasting can also be thrown in!

4. Beautiful Budapest
Once back in the capital, spend your days visiting many of the city’s architectural marvels. Going up to Buda Castle on Castle Hill by the funicular cable railway at an incline of 48% is great fun! While in the Castle District- a world heritage site, visit the 100 years old Fishermen’s Bastion for a panoramic view of Budapest and Danube. Check out the Millennium Monument in the Hero’s Square, built for the 1000th birthday of Hungary. Matthias Church, the art museums, The Hungarian House of Wines and Cafe Ruszwurm shouldn’t be missed either. Across the river lies the Parliament of Hungary, famous for its size - nearly 18000 square metres - and for its splendour. It is the most expensive building ever built in Hungary. You simply have to pay it a visit!

5. Delicious Fare And To Die For Wines
From 22 wine regions of Hungary come 700 different Hungarian wines. Some are world famous e.g. Tokai and Egri Bikavér and some you can discover! Hungarians often enjoy their wine with a mix of soda-water, making a drink called “frÖccs”. Try one of the 21 brands of Hungarian mineral water; some of them have therapeutic value, like Mira or Borszé ki. Get in a riverboat and sample some fine wine while enjoying the night-lit world heritage view of the two sides of the Danube. Another must taste is delicious Goulash soup and various stews brewed with paprika, widely grown in Hungary and added to almost every Hungarian dish. Also try popular street food - Lángos, a sort of salty fried dough, usually served with sour cream and grated cheese. Indulge!

6. Oh, Shopping!
Central Market Hall in Budapest offers a great rustic market experience in a beautiful building. You can buy organic vegetables, home-made andouille sausages, salamis, pastries, paprika and Hungarian spirits like Zwack Unicum. It is a great place for buying handmade Hungarian folk art souvenirs like embroidered pillowcases, dresses, dolls dressed in Hungarian folklore costumes, pottery and porcelain. Herend and Zsolnay porcelains make exclusive gifts. You also find folklore shops in Pest’s chic shopping district, Vaci Street. Andrassy Avenue is a place of famous designer shops and exclusive gift shops. The best antique shops in Budapest are in Falk Miksa Street.

As if all this was not enough to entice you to visit Hungary, the people are very friendly and the country is quite safe even at night. Bless yourself with the spa holiday of a lifetime and be treated like royalty in Budapest and beyond.

Go fashionably light this honeymoon

Less is more' and to put that thought into action, pack intelligently for this adventurously romantic getaway. Aditi Jain pens down the absolute checklist for mastering the honeymoon packing list in 25 items or less

First things first is to do you research on your holiday- The number of days you will spend, the weather, any special dress codes and the location, is it a beach/ mountain/ city/etc. and tweak the following one week list accordingly.

Mix n match with
1. 2 pairs of denims: One in pencil fit in ink blue which can crossover for an evening on the town, and the other in a slim fit in a funkier acid sky for the more adventurous excursions.
2. A pair of hot pants: A sateen (not satin) in cotton lycra, the ‘it’ shade being safari green. Steer clear of hot pants with fold ups, pocket flaps, pleats and fringes which tend to add bulge where it is not required. Shorts in white, a la Malaika style, can work very well too and can help you sport diverse looks with accessories.
3. A light weight jacket that can be scrunched up into your hang luggage: Light cotton/poly twill works great as it minimises the creases and pumps up the style in any silhouette you fancy.
4. 2 day dresses that can work their way to the evening with a change of accessories: Try a sundress with a bloom of floral or an abstract of geometry with a nipped high waist and bare those shoulders with a strapless dress, knee length or above for a haute mood
5. An ever so sexy black mini dress: Be it a tiny shift, an empire waist A line or even a structured well fitted one.
6. A stole in a neutral shade: With temperatures hovering in the low, a pure paschmina or blend with tassels, sparingly studded with Swarovski will definitely go the distance. Throw it over your bare shoulders or recklessly tie it over your swaying hips. A stole can be used for much more if you put your imagination to work.
7. 3 multipurpose tops which can pass for pleasure or play: With the 50’s still sizzling on the runway, go ‘easy’ with a button down jersey and tie it up with a belt to show of those curves. For a look that’s ‘seductive’ take along a quiet animal print bustier or corseted top that pumps up the cleavage and tames down the waist. Wraps work well for a ‘flirty’ feel, layer it with a camisole or try out unconventional ways to tie the knots.
8. An intoxicating two piece swimsuit with cover-up: Bare it all in a style that suits your comfort, shoulder bearing bandeau’s are the in thing, clasped with jewels. If you do have a heavy bust though, it is advisable to go with straps.
9. Lingerie in nude shades for under the clothes and in whatever suits your fancy for times out!

Strut those legs in
10. A pair of keds or flats: Comfortable on the sole for those long walks. Dark colours are low maintenance and black or navy can be sported when you just can’t wear those heels
11. A set of metallic stilettos: In either gold or silver, whichever complements the colours of your clothes

Add the glam quotient with
12. Trinkets: Art pieces are big this season, from heavy cuffs and stacked bangles to baroque and statement jewels. Go with whatever accentuates your wardrobe.
13. A chic narrow leather belt: that goes with everything, more for fashion than function.
14. A chiffon scarf: To add feminine charm, use it as a bandana, tousle it into a hair tie or string it to your belt loop.
15. Hair accessories to alter your look every day
16. Sunglasses that seize the sun

Don’t compromise on
17. Compact sized skincare and makeup
18. Deodorant, because BO is a mood kill
19. Perfume to heighten his senses
20. Hair spray/mousse for those bad hair days
21. Nail filer
22. Tweezers to pluck out the unwanted
23. Hair Brush to tame those tresses

Essential lasts
24. Contraception, unless you’re planning a baby
25. Cell phone charger without which you’d be cast away!

Add to these your irresistible smile, elegance and poise and you’re all packed for a honeymoon on which you won’t spend much time in the suitcase.

Ecolicious spa holidays for you

Heading out this festive season? Pamper yourself silly and give back to the planet, all at the same time, by choosing an eco-friendly destination spa where practitioners work to indulge both you and the environment. Chandana Banerjee brings you a top list.

The Dune Eco Village Resort and Spa at Pondicherry
http://www.thedunehotel.com/

Situated in the lovely coastal town of Pondicherry, the Dune is an interesting destination for those looking to dip into the healing arts and revel in their spiritual journey. Spread over 35 acres, this eco-friendly spa resort situated right on the beach boasts of 30 villas and 20 rooms. It offers Artists in Residence programme, water-based healing programmes such as Aqua Zen Aichi, Magic Chromatherapy, Aqua Reflexo, Water Shiatsu and other interesting aqua therapies, a spa that combines beauty with healing techniques, and an Ayurveda centre headed by specialists in the field. While you’re here, you’ll not only be pampered, indulged and healed, you’ll also be nourished with organic, home-grown produce from their very own organic farm.

Vythiri Resort at Wayanad
http://www.vythiriresort.com/

If you love nature, especially deep, dark forests, then the Vythiri Resort in Wayanad is for you. Exquisite, elegant and eco-friendly, this spa resort pampers all your senses. You can actually live a life of leisure here at Vythiri “uncovering the simple joys” - treks in the tropical forest, walks by the waterfall, guided trips to the village nearby, long and luxurious sessions in the Ayurveda boutique and other rejuvenation therapies at the spa.

Speaking about rejuvenation therapies, you can opt for interesting packages that combine scrubs and massage, inspired by aromatherapy and Ayurveda techniques. There’s Marma Body, a mind and spirit massage, Serenity Full Body Massage with aromatherapy oils, a relaxing Padabhyanga Foot and Leg massage and several others to choose from. If therapy is what you’re looking for, try any of the Ayurveda packages that promise to relieve pain and rejuvenate senses.

Savista in Jaipur
http://www.savista.com/eco-friendly-resort.html

An eco-resort, this one offers spiritual and spa facilities and also a sustainable and responsible lifestyle. While you’re here, you can nurture your body with not only the usual spa treatments like sauna, steam and Jacuzzi baths, but also a wide range of traditional massage treatments, including Abhyanga, Shirodhara and Panchakarma massages. In addition, you can practice yoga in the tranquil lawns, take up fitness activities and relax.

You can also practice natural living and detox your system. Here at Savista, most of the produce used in cooking is grown organically, spices are freshly ground, butter is home-churned, oil cold-pressed, and meat, poultry and eggs are obtained from the surrounding farms. This eco-sensitive travel destination believes in conserving energy, living organically and investing in the local community - simple but important principles that you can take away with you, along with great memories and your relaxed and rejuvenated self.

Ananda at Tehri Garhwal
http://www.anandaspa.com/

Once the home of the Maharaja of this region, Ananda in Tehri-Garhwal is now “a world class destination spa”. If you’re looking for unique ways to soothe your senses and frazzled nerves, and at the same time, get away from the maddening crowds, Ananda is your destination. The spa is spread over an area of 24,000 square feet and offers 79 body as well as beauty treatments, which have been drawn from traditional Indian techniques and the Western spa approach. At Ananda, you can get a tailor-made spa experience, created for your specific needs and expectations. From cleansing, detoxification and de-stressing to weight loss, anti-ageing and relaxation, the team of experts at the spa resort will make sure you have a ‘spalicious’ holiday.

Sparsa at Kanyakumari and Thiruvannamalai
http://www.sparsaresorts.com/about_us.html

You have a choice of destinations, if Sparsa is where you want to be. You can plonk yourself either in the beach town of Kanyakumari or the sacred city of Thiruvannamalai. Created with eco friendly material and equipped with the finest of facilities, Sparsa won’t let you down, if ‘eco’ is what you have in mind. Chill out, enjoy languorous days and treat yourself to eco-conscious spa treatments at the Sparsa resorts.

A tryst with a lost colony!

Looking forward to spending a weekend at a beach with a dash of history? Head to the only Danish colony in the South - Tranquebar or Tharangambadi as its known today. Lakshmi Sharath takes you on a drive to this town of singing waves.

As you drive beyond the erstwhile French colony, Pondicherry, you come to this small hamlet called Tharangambadi, which in Tamil, means the town of the singing waves. The melody haunts you as the village roads slowly open into the sea with a quaint old fort on its shores, unraveling beautiful sights entwined with engrossing tales.

When a ship landed on its shores
Tharangambadi or Tranquebar (Trankebar) is a 17th century Danish settlement ruled by the Danish East India Company who built the Fort Dansborg. Today, the fort wears the garb of a museum that tells a story of a busy port which has now become a windblown village. Legend has it that a small strip of an insignificant fishing hamlet was leased from the Vijaynagar king by the Danes for an annual rent of Rs. 3,111 and Trankebar was created with the Dansborg Fort built right in the centre of it.

At the portals of the village is the ‘Landporten’ or the town gate that sports the Danish Royal seal and leads us through a row of colonial bungalows and ancient churches. Sprawled on the beaches are the bungalows of the British Collector and the Danish Governor which are being renovated and converted into hotels for guests. The heritage hotel ‘The Bungalow on the Beach’ is considered the most popular one of the lot.

Reliving the Royal era
The quaint streetscapes lend an old world charm to this destination that speaks volumes of the people and its past. Walk down the small by lanes called King Street, Queen Street and Goldsmith Street where buildings have been restored.

The King Street is where all of colonial Tranquebar’s biggest and most famous buildings are concentrated. It is also the place where the most amazing eateries and hotels are situated. So if you’re hungry and want to grab a bite or even a glass of chilled beer, you know where to head to!

The church chronicles
The 18th century Zion Church, which is the oldest protestant church of India, is a great witness of the past. It is also the reason behind the moving and spreading out of the Danish population into the surrounding settlements. This church is a beautiful combination of colonial and Indian architectural features and has gone through several makeovers to reach its present form.

The New Jerusalem Church was built a bit later by German missionaries Bartholomäus Ziegenbalg and Heinrich Pluetschau to accommodate the increasing Christian population in this region. These missionaries were also responsible for translating the Bible into Tamil.

Surviving the tsunami
While you’re screening through this lost forgotten town’s Danish past, it is important to note that it was ravaged by the tsunami as well. If you stand at the edge of the sea and look out into the horizon, you will see the Masilamani Nathar temple, the oldest temple that has survived here since the 14th century.

As the waves lash at the store, listen to the haunting melody of the waves and watch fishermen return from a hard day’s work. All that is left of the town are now the little snippets of history. While time and nature has robbed it of its glory, it still remains in its little corner, waiting to be discovered, still ready to startle you with its heritage and mystical beauty!