Should you pick the tab?

Should you cough it up if you have cash to burn or should you just wait for the cute guy to foot the bill? The issue is situational. Baisakhi Roy gets 3 men and 3 women to answer, explain their reasons and debate this one out unequivocally

If you are just friends
“Always pay your own; money can ruin friendship. Whether out with girl or guy pals, we always spilt it evenly,” says quality manager Melanie D’Souza, (29).

Some men are pretty matter of fact about this situation. “If low on funds, one can tell the other to pay, male or female,” says 30 year old singer and songwriter, Hitesh Rupani.

If you are on a date… first or second!
Things aren’t as simple if there is a possibility of a romantic connection, hovering in the far distance, or the near future. “Yes, on the first date, the guy MUST pay to maintain a good impression. Every woman loves chivalry I think. But I would insist and pay on the second date,” says Antara Ray (30) an environmental consultant in Kolkata.

Some men are much too happy to comply and some think that chivalry is a two-way lane. “I make it a point to pay as she is my responsibility,” says Pratyush Bhaskar (30), a journalist. “It’s not an out-dated notion; I think guys are still expected to pay. That being said, I love it when a girl offers to pay. I’m a little turned off by girls who expect me to pay, and don’t put up a fight when I get the bill,” says 30 year old Karn Kowshik, a mountaineer who is currently travelling in Leh.

If you are serious
It’s a completely different kind of date when there is a level of commitment. Says Rupani, “On a date only where there is a commitment should a guy offer to pay.” Bhaskar agrees, “I belong to the old school so I prefer to do it the old fashioned way… paying for all.”

The ladies are gracious enough to pay their own though. “From what I hear of the younger generation, they still expect the boys to pay, which I think is lame. But the self-respecting girls pay their way. If I were a guy on a date, I’d expect the girl to at least offer to pay her half, or to offer to pay next time, even if she didn’t,” says Mishana Khot, (30) a copy supervisor based in Mumbai.


It’s all about the connection
Rupani says bluntly that if a man has money to burn, he should pay at all times for everyone regardless of girlfriend or anyone! Kowshik agrees. “I have been on dates where the girl pays, either because she asked me out or because she really wants to, and I accept since I’m a little broke. It doesn’t really change anything. At the end of the day, if you connect with someone, it doesn’t really matter who pays, right?”

“As far as my guy friends are concerned, there are all kinds. Some are so chivalrous that they insist on paying every time. But most of them pretty much prefer splitting the bill, if they are meeting regularly. Recently, my batch mates from Mumbai met after a good 15 years and the guys did not let the girls pay, so there,” says Antara.

The all-important alcohol etiquette
This one can get rather tricky as alcohol tends to work up the bill and not everyone in a group usually drinks. So what does one do with the booze tab? Mishana Khot specifies, “There’s no sorting out for me, I split bills half way with my man, from pre-living together days, and on days when one doesn’t have money, the other pays. If it’s a big amount, one pays it back; if not, the favour is returned another day. If girls go out, or pals, we split the bills amongst us, and if someone is not drinking, they don’t pay for the alcohol.”

What’s your money mantra? Though you may always offer to pay up, would you be comfortable being with a guy who doesn’t even offer to foot your tab? Tell us; we are dying to hear!