It's a friendship that started when you opened your eyes and grasped another tiny finger; a friend who fought fiercely for you and with you. Sisterhood is to be remembered, cherished and strengthened as we grow older and wiser, because as 3 women tell us, sisters are forever. By Smita Singh
My sister, my guide, my guardian angel: ‘She credits my wisdom and I her love.’
37 year old mother of two adorable toddler twins, Anamika has been a fiercely protective, loving and nurturing older sister to Arpita. Both married and living in cities far apart, from Dubai to Delhi is a call away for Anamika if her sister ever needs her. “I was 19 when we lost our mother,” recalls Arpita. “I don’t remember exactly when the transformation happened, but my sister, little over a year older than me began loving me and our younger brother as a mother, giving us more time and affection, thinking of our future.”
Arpita, a corporate lawyer on sabbatical and a new mother, loves her elder sister with a deep dedication. Says Arpita, “Even when I deserved it least she loved me. I remember when we were young I criticized her quite harshly for her competitiveness and focus in life. It’s exactly the same qualities about her that I now deeply admire when I see the beautiful life she has made for herself without losing the beauty of her being. I don’t really think I drive her mad at all because I seldom see her disturbed with me. I guess she is graceful enough to look beyond all my faults and take care of everything the only way she knows- with love.”
A profound sense of having a sister watch her back, makes her stronger. Anamika has been a mother, a sister, a friend and above all the guardian angel many may wish for, but few are lucky to live with.
For 26 year old Neha, mothering her four years younger sister has become second nature. At the same time she feels that with Natasha, her bond goes beyond that of any friendship she could ever have. And though spats with her sister are not exactly rare, Neha who recently got married remembers one that touched her deeply. “Before the wedding, I was quite tense and jittery and in all of this while my sister hovered around me giving her opinions, I snapped at her very rudely in front of our relatives.” Young Natasha, all of 22 years, took it to heart and swore not to dance at the wedding! “She cried and told me she won’t do anything for me ever! We slept in separate rooms that night and I felt awful. In the morning I started to look for her and before I could say anything, she hugged me. I told her I was sorry as we hugged and that precise moment I realised how much I am going to miss her.”
As a creative director at a media production house, and married, Neha hardly gets the time she once had with her sister. “Living with Natasha meant mess all around especially in the bathroom, and she also has this habit of using my clothes misplacing them and then denying! But I still miss her like crazy and value any time I get to spend with her. I talk to her a lot more and mother her all the time now.”
Describing her relationship with Natasha, she says, “I have a bond with my sister that gets strengthened every day. It can’t be described because even as it keeps evolving, it remains constant and dependable.”
“Ever since I was a kid, I thought of Geetika as someone who’ll shelter me from the garbage in life. She’d give up her things insisting I get the best,” says 27 year old Kushal, a Media and Communications professional of her sister Geetika, who is three years older and a teacher. Used to Geetika checking in on her during recess in school to make sure she was okay, with time it was Kushal who took over protecting her quieter sibling. “If someone hurt her, they’d have to deal with me!”
In fact after having joined a spiritual community a couple of years ago, Kushal feels they are both bonded souls. “We have bonded as more than just sisters born of the same womb. If we are mad at each over something, or have hurt each other, I don’t need to hear her say sorry- it has no meaning for me.”
But even soul sisters can get on each other’s nerves! “She will weigh the pros and cons of each small or big decision carefully- whether it’s what to have for breakfast or the colour of the house, where as I go with the flow. And now that I am getting married in less than a month, whenever I’ll think of home, I’ll think of her waiting for me with the same innocence and pure love as when we were kids. I’ll miss sitting on my ass at the end of a long day, and badgering her into making her awesome cold coffee and not so good Maggie noodles!’
From sharing clothes to secrets, worries to memories, for Kushal and Geetika, sisterhood is when conversations never really do end and having “Someone you can’t ever lie to and who’ll never judge you even if you’re having the worst ever hair and skin day!”
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